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WE'LL SING A CHORUS 
anyways
im just gunna talk!! out loud here, because no ones online and i've been suppressing my emotions for a good amount of time hah, as i normally do :) how relatable amirite!!!!1 Anyways,
lately i've just felt kinda off?? like, something not right. im usually a happy laid-backish kinda person and for these past months ive been kinda !???? lmao what is going on
i've been cancelling my plans with friends, and i've been just feeling really weird. im not used to it, and i dont want to use the word sad, even though i probably am sad??? but nonetheless i just feel as if theres a lot going on and i need to get over it, and i just want to get shit over with as soon as possible but STUPID EMOOOTIONS?? ARE KEEPING ME BACK, RELEASE ME.
erm but like, hell i just need to start letting people know whats going on, and i honestly thought i was getting a lot better, but a situation hasnt really come yet to make me completely prove that,, and now that it has im back at route one. like, i just kinda wanna be a bird or something lmao, i mean of course who doesn't???? fucking birds speaking of which i might get one for Christmas, and THAT REMINDS ME!!! lately!! i've just been!! so weird about sharing little tid-bits of information about myself?? like i legit almost erased that!! like, idk, its so stupid but everytime im in a conversation with someone and  we talk im like "haha hey whats up" and theyre like "oh nothing much just drawing" and i can be like "oh im drawing!" AND I THINK IM BEING RLY SELFISH??? FOR SAYING THAT??? like!! idk, i guess i've just been really becoming a secretive person lately. i've kinda come to the realization that i always give people my all, but they don't?? really do the same for me?? IT SOUNDS LIKE IM BEING VAGUE BUT JUST!! like i always try my best with people and want them to give them a lot and stuff, and i do that a lot whether its voluntarily or not, and whether they asked or approved or not, and i never get that back, like, maybe a pity thing but i can really only think,,,, of 2 people,,, that give me they're 100% back and i love those people to DEATH and sadly im not able to be physically there with them but, idk. ... maybe thats why im so insecure?? cause like,,,noone gives me their 100% and i feel as if im not worth it??
IDK GUYS AM I BEING WEIRD, IM GOING THREW AN AWKWARD SAD TIME FOR SOME REASON AND MY ONLY LIKKE,,, WAY OUT IS HUMOR AND RELATABLE SHIT SO IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING GOING ON LIKE THIS P L E A SE NOTE ME OR TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT WITH YOUR LIFE, IF YOU WANT.. im honestly always here to listen and would love to talk to you all about it cause i just need osmeone else to help me and not feel alone!! <3 
OH MY GOD 
WHY WOUKLD....
SOMEONES MOM,,,,,TEXT YOU,,,, ASKING WHY YOUR NOT FRIENDS WITHTHEM ANYMROE,,
THATS,,,, SO AWKWARD OH MY GO D PLEASE FUKCING HE LP IM SO SC A RED
I like to have things be,,,,, labeled? In a way?
Like,,, as in they must be justified? Like things can't just randomly stop working without my knowledge I can't just leave things broken or whatever, some.people don't rly care or they're so !! Easy about it but I just need things to get done and clean and !!
Basically my tablet cord broke,, and I haven't ordered a new one and I needed to, its not even about my tablet either, this could happen with anything and id need to get this shit done with ASAP, legit its been keeping me up. Like I NEED THINGS TO BE CLEAR,,,,, EVERYHING NEEDS TO BE CLEAR !!
It'll bother me a lot if things dont get like?? Done or be clear to me.
Like, I'm fine with going somewhere randomly or buying random crap or changing things up, I don't have to have a to do list. But I think I have a problem when things I'm used to have changed in some way, or if I describe something I NEED TO BE CRYSTAL CLEAR my gosh,,,, I'm just,,, idk my dude I need things to be clear
Before you read, this isn't for any of you. I'm not here to share my story, im saving this as a reminder and the only reason i'm making it public is so I can maybe get across some message to others too. (Plus I know not many people will read this) 
So, I would rather not put this on my main account. I'm a pretty secretive person, and that title i've been kinda on and off with for a few years. And by few I mean like, 3 haha. 
The thing is, I used to be able to switch on and off like a light bulb. I used to be able to cry at the smallest thing, and honestly that was fine by me, even when I was emo, I wasn't afraid of showing any sort of emotion. then Summer 2015 hit me. That, no joke, was one of the hardest times of my life. I'm not going into detail, but some really really serious things happened. All I remember doing, is skype calling Bee to distract myself from the constant discomfort I've ever felt. Every single day, I was on the computer 24/7. And when Bee needed to go eat or something, I would take a talk and listen to passion pits "take a walk." every day, for 3 mins. In those 3 minutes of listening to that one song over and over, it was your thinking time. to try and process what really happened. Every day you would take a walk, for a full year you took that 3 min walk and you grew stronger and stronger. You wouldn't talk to anyone and you were just walking around until I got the text from Bee that she was back from eating. Speaking of eating, due to my constant discomfort, I could hardly get anything down. My mom would always tell me it was because of the heat, and I would try my best to manipulate myself and believe that was the reason as well. It wasn't though, haha. I knew why. Now, I don't think I necessarily had a eating disorder, but I would only eat a few grapes a day. No exaggeration. That summer I had lost 20 pounds, and it was super unhealthy and it worried me to death. But back to the matter at hand, I was always blocking myself from what had happened cause I was to scared to tell myself what was going on. I was scared to tell anyone, I wasn't ready for any of it. And thats one thing I learned that summer, is that if youre not ready, or if you need time to process things, its okay. Don't expect your problems to be clear, don't expect to be able to grasp your problems in the blink of an eye. Sometimes, things are complicated, and no matter how much you feel cringey for saying it, sometimes you can't put words into your problems, it just takes time. I thought things weren't going so well, but then something bad really happened. Something inside you snapped, something happened to where you weren't comfortable with the people you were with at the time you needed help to most. Something inside you said you didn't want to associate with the people you loved so much, who hurt you the most. You were going threw the most uncomfortable time, and had to make the most heart breaking decision. There was only one person there for you, and even they didn't know what was really going on. You were all by yourself, and guess the fuck what. You did it. You got threw the most horrific time of your life, all by your goddamn self. No matter how many times the people you loved the most, said they werent ready for you, or didnt need you, or didnt trust you, you got threw that shit. No one to trust, no one to talk to and you fucking did it. I know sometimes you think your weak for showing your emotions, and think you need to hide them in or else you'll look weak. But how dare you say that after all you've been threw. Weakness isn't a word that describes you. After going threw all that with only a single tear to shed, weakness shouldn't even be compared to you. No matter how emotionally weak you feel, you're the strongest goddamn person you've ever met. You're the most insecure person you've ever known, and you hate bragging, but goddamn take some pride. You are so strong, you are beautiful. No matter how many times you went home and almost popped the pill or did anything to "forget" about what was going on, you pulled threw. A year later, you were strong enough to share what happened. After so many walks and thoughts, you finally felt the need to stop this bullshit and share what happened. And you did. You did and it felt so much better. You didn't cry, you didn't shake, you were upfront and bold. You knew how to handle the situation. You trusted the people who pushed you away and you trusted the people who were always there for you. You were going to be okay. And once again, about a year later, september 1, you're doing amazing. You are strong, and no guy can get you down. You don't need anyone to say your weak. You dont need to think youre weak for venting to your friends because you went threw the toughest time of your life and you made it with the strongest attitude. Although it left you with a few scars and some trust issues, you're a pretty okay human. You're not weak. And if you ever feel like you are, take a walk. 
im way to influenced by people, on deviantart and irl.
being a teenager sucks it really does, because you really dont know who you are no matter what??
when i see certain artist i wanna act cute and watch anime and then when i hang out with one of my ir buddies i wanna dye my hair and where flannels and kick back and watch harry potter and then sometimes i wanna be a hippie indie vintage girl who likes adventures and is v sweet
tbh i think a lot of people can relate so i think i just do whatever i feel like that day? if i wanna be a noob with anime and be cute ill do it and put on sweaters and leggings and liquid eyeliner and if i wanna be punk ill put on a flannel and be edgy and stuff and if i wanna be a hipster ill go outside with vintage jackets and stuff


teenage angst amitrie
I  JUST WROTE



ALL THE 5 MISFITS PARAGRAPHS

OF THEM OF ABOUT THEM



AND THEN
WHATEVER THE HECK HAPPENS
I FREAKING TOUCH MY TRACKPAD
AND IT GOES BACK.. .. TO THE PREVIOUS PAGE


hahahaha god youre REALLy funny :) 
by doing stretches ive gone into the 5'3/5'4 range to 5'4/5'5 range.
fite me.



also sorry if i talk about this to much its an insecurity ive gotten a custom to ;p
The creators of spongebob are sadistic tbh, i mean have you seen the latest movie ! What is it fish out of water or something like deary me, they FREAKING TORTURE PLANKTON EVERY TIME HE'S ON THE SCREEN?? LIKE IT MADE ME REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE SEEING HIM TAPPED TO A MCFREAKING TABLE LIKE?? NOT TO MENTION IN THE ENDING WHERE HE COMPLETELY ABANDONS HIS CHARACTER AND TURNS GOOD?? LIKE DON'T GET ME WRONG THE CARTOON PART WAS CUTE AND ALL BUT WHEN THE CGI HIT ITS LIKE THE WRITERS GOT TIRED AND THEY FREAKING TOOK WHATEVER THE HECK AND MADE THE REST OF THE MOVIE, I DONT UNDERSTAND EITHER LIKE AFTER THE FIRST SPONGEBOB MOVIE THE SPONGEBOB EPISODES WENT DOWNHILL LIKE THIS IS WHY YOU CANT CONTINUE CERTAIN SHOWS FOR TOO LONG COUGH COUGH TEEN TITANS GO COUGH COUGH i got 4 hours of sleep.
and i asked myself how to finger 
cause i couldn't draw fingers
Yeah not the best thing to say while you draw your grandparents